Yup, you read that right~ I am sober 350 days, well 351 days if you count today. Coming up to one year on March 19th! Lord willing but I do believe I will make that milestone. I don’t live hour to hour or day to day constantly thinking about drinking or not drinking….. if anything I think about going home, putting on my pj’s to rest, read or watch tv. It’s still winter here (and of course another storm is brewing tonight) sorry I digressed but I just want to go home after work and put on my jammy pants! Be in the comforts of my home, our new remodeling kitchen, cooking or having dinner with my kiddos and fiance~ oh wait, I didn’t tell you about that yet either? Yup, fiance now, we got engaged last month while away on vacation. A huge surprise~ yup I was surprised! I am NEVER surprised~ I either figure things out or someone slips so I was so pleased to be surprised by my BF. He was so excited to pull it off and the other couples with us were so excited to be part of the secret! We had a fabulous vacation away with friends and guess what~ I was sober. It was awesome~ no headaches, no sea sickness or hangovers while out touring the island. I read, slept in, went to the spa, laid on the beach, swam in the ocean and the pool, took photos, and soaked up he rays under several layers of sunblock. I drank flavored seltzers and frozen fruity drinks by day and espressos and cappuccinos by night~ and guess what? This was the best adult only vacation and not just because I got engaged but I was sober to remember it all. It was awesome because I was me~ I’m still the goofy girl who likes to laugh and have fun. I wasn’t stressed about drinking or wanting to drink~ I think I am passed that now. Yes there was 2 moments on vacation where I had a thought~ hmm wish I could have one too… but it was a moment and the moment passed. The fiance even saw it, he said a look came across my face~ and he could tell. But before he could even say anything to me it was gone and I was smiling and being me again. I didn’t have to act on that thought, like the old days. Plus who am I kidding, it wouldn’t be just ONE!
So as I get back into the old routine as mom, chef, employee, taxi driver, fiance and all the other things I do~ it is time to dive back into my step work (Step 4), meetings, and yes I must get back to the gym too! My life is full of so many great things. I’m happy and so grateful of where I am today in my recovery. I am thankful that God has helped me find my way and on days that are not so great, I pray for his guidance and strength. I don’t need to worry about tomorrow or next week, just have to focus on today.
If you are new to recovery and or struggling with alcohol (Hell any substance), please seek out some help. It is scary and hard, believe me I know but do it. Initially I found help via recovery blogs and support groups online but after a while I knew I couldn’t do it alone and needed IRL (in real life) support. I reached out to a 12 step recovery program and it has been wonderful addition to my sober tool box. Before I got sober I didn’t realize how many die from alcohol addiction, I thought people only died from drug over doses. That is not true~ it happens everyday! Alcohol can kill you. This is a real disease~ but you don’t have to fight it alone. Reach out for help~ it was the best thing I could have done for myself and my family.
Thanks for reading and all your support~
Sober Day 351