Beep Beep, I am baaccckkk~

Well I am back from vacation~ we took a family trip to Nashville, TN~ Country Music Capital of the World!
What a beautiful city and the locals were so nice! It was a short trip with my teens~ no crazy schedule or rushing around to see everything (think Disney vacations). We only had one day “booked” for things to do. Other than that we had a list of places we wanted to see and do. It was relaxing. We did lots of walking & sightseeing but we all contributed to what we wanted to do and not do. The kids had their moments, one minute they are best friends and the next their not. At times one was so moody and couldn’t be bothered. Just being typical Teens and the best part~ I went with it and didn’t fly off the handle or get bothered with it. This was our first family vaca that Mommy wasn’t drinking. Believe me, Nashville is a Beer Drinking town. Bars are on every corner and kids are welcomed inside bars before 7 pm. The old drinking Momma would have been all over that, let’s listen to this band and rest our feet and Momma can have a cocktail! As in past vacations, there were no pit spots to grab a drink or picking up my daily bottle or two from the hotel store. Our hotel even had free dinners nightly with wine and beer for FREE. WHAT?? How come I never stayed at this hotel chain before? There was no arguing or rushing around because we were running late, or a snappy grumpy mom with a terrible hangover. I was calm mom~ oh we missed our exit turn, no biggie we can circle back. Kids, you pick where to go to dinner, I am fine with either selection. My alcoholic type A persona let the kids have input on what to do. I didn’t have to have everything MY way. I enjoyed the things we did and I remembered them. I was clear and coherent the entire trip and there was no worry if I embarrassed them, drove when I shouldn’t or trying to remember how the night ended. I was in charge and in control of me and quess what? I LIKED IT! I liked traveling sober! I can’t tell you how many times I have flown hungover or raced to the airport hoping I packed everything I needed. Or went over budget big time because my bar tab was insane for one person. Nope not this trip.
In the beginning of my sober journey, I thought I can’t vacation sober, I can’t do this forever can I? Yup, I can! The more time goes on I realize I can and more importantly I want too. I don’t want the old me back and more importantly, my family doesn’t want the old me back. Things run more smoother at home and I am there for them mentally and physically all the time. I hid a lot from my family about my drinking, how bad it was but my cover was slipping and there was enough for them to see I had issues. I am grateful my bottom was not as bad as it could of been and I thank God everyday for protecting me and my family from harm. I am also grateful for the sober blogging community because without you I don’t think I would have reached out for help when I did and our vacation and my new life would not be so enjoyable.

So as the year goes on and I cross off my many sober firsts (weddings, vacations, parties, birthdays, holidays and even sex) I know things are better now that I put down the bottle. I hope others who are struggling take the chance and give sobriety a whirl because they (or you) too can have this life. It’s not always easy and believe there are still moments I want to run away and escape my thoughts or feelings but the next day when I wake up clear headed, I never regret not drinking last night!

Thanks for reading and your support.

Momma Bee
Sober Day 148

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2 thoughts on “Beep Beep, I am baaccckkk~

  1. So awesome, I can’t wait to have that many days under my belt. It is so funny to me that my daughter is starting kindergarten tomorrow and I am excited to get her ready in the morning not hungover. I’m laughing at myself, but it is a good feeling all the same.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Huge milestone for you. So great to hear that it was a rewarding experience. I’m sure it wasn’t easy the whole time with all of those opportunities and temptations. If I may ask, is there a particular tool or tactic that you use to keep yourself accountable when confronted with an opportunity?

    Liked by 1 person

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