Monday was my last day of the Whole 30 Challenge…. I survived it. My 2 big cheats (I really didn’t have any mini cheats) was the bottle of red wine and some sips of beer on Day 14 and a piece of cheesy bread on Day 29.
I’m proud to say I lost 10 lbs and I plan to keep on eating this way as much as I can. I told my friends, I’m going for 60. I feel really good and my sleep, my skin and my energy has improved. One of the real reasons I am continuing to eat clean becasue it is helping me not to drink. I now have 19 days straight of no liquor. Wine has been my vice and has been for quite a while now. I went to my MD and told her I think I am really depressed and I’m drinking way to much wine. I have questioned my alcohol consumption and I am not comfortable with it. Why, because once I start, I usually don’t stop. I went thru a bad divorce 5 years ago and I know deep down inside, I never dealt with the pain. The last two years, maybe three, I’ve been drinking to cope. I didn’t realize until lately, how bad I was. I don’t want to hit the typical rock bottom…. this is bad enough. No one knows what I am really going thru except my boyfriend, my doctor and now my acupuncturist. I just went for a session to help deal with the cravings. I haven’t had the typical detox symptons or any real cravings. My emotions have been all over the place and I find myself unusally quiet and keeping to myself. My doctor is sending me to a therapist that deals with addiction. I see him next week…. I’ll wait to see what he has to say about me.
I can’t think about not drinking forever yet… each day I take a pledge to myself, I will not pick up that first drink today. The first is never the last recently.
So now I must focus on my health, mentally and physically. I need to be a better more. More attentive to my kids needs. My plan is to keep eating clean, daily exercise and no wine. I need to stop drinking b/c my feelings, reality and daily problems are not going to solve themselves.